My friend Tony was in the midst of a shooting over the weekend. While the rest of us were swilling beer and grilling hot dogs, Tony was crouched behind a rack of clothes with his 7-year old daughter and a teenage complete stranger who were terrified. Tony held it together during the worst moments of parenting. And he didn’t even pee in his pants (as I surely would have).
I saw Tony’s Facebook update and thought it was a joke at first. After all, the shooting was at Target, my favorite place. Have a look at his own words. He jotted them down just as a cathartic exercise and graciously allowed me to share them with you.
You don’t need me to preach a message here. For anyone who’s a parent, you’ll cringe as you read this and hug your kids tightly tonight.
It’s pretty hard to describe how it started. I had just left Susan and Laney, my wife and 12-year old daughter, so they could go find a present for my soon-to-be-7-year old daughter Logan. Logan and I went over to the men’s section in Target. I had seen some T-shirts earlier that I wanted to go look at. The T-shirts were kind of lame, and Logan had the shoes she wanted, so I was ready to go check out and go home to fix lunch.
11:21 AM I called Susan’s cell to see what they had left to do. While on the call, I heard someone drop a large box… Susan commented, “Wow, someone just broke something.”
Then it all blurred. People came running by in a state of panic I’ve only seen on newsreels. I remember one woman’s face as if had she run by in slow motion. It was sheer terror that announced the worst possible thought I could’ve imagine. It wasn’t a box I had heard, it was a gun shot. And to make sure I didn’t misunderstand that, two or three other shots rang out. The gun fire seemed to be chasing the panicking crowd.
In a blink of an eye, I completely understood the situation. Crowded store – guns shots. I grabbed Logan, dove behind the wall of hanging shorts in the Men’s section. I think I might’ve said “Hide!” – but nothing feels real solid about that part of the memory. As I was ducking down, a young woman came running up and asked if she could please hide with us. I remember being so startled by the desperation in her plea – like we would say anything other than yes. I think it was the fear in her watering eyes that solidified everything bad that was happening.
I tried to get my bearings… glanced around the edge of the wall I was hiding behind to see if anything – if anyone was moving. No people. No bodies. Absolute quite. The store looked empty. I glanced behind me. Empty. I freaked even more. When you ask a 7-year old to hide, they will. They are very good at it. And evidently, so are 15-year old girls. For the briefest of moments, I was completely alone – and I had no idea where Logan had gone. Then she touched my leg, and I heard her small voice “Daddy, what’s happening?” Relief. She was hiding behind the hanging shorts, much like she would in one of our closets at home, right behind me.
And then a series of more gun shots – and reality was back in a hurry. I was straining so hard to hear anything moving, or see anyone (gunmen?) coming towards us that I could actually see my blood pulse vibrating my vision. I heard everything… squeaks on the floor… my keys bumping the metal wall behind me… various voices yelling. I had no idea if I was hearing mad gunmen yelling to each other as they searched the store… people who had been shot yelling for help…? I knew nothing and assumed the worst.
11:22 AM – Call to 911. I wanted to scream GET SOMEONE IN HERE AND FIX THIS! In my quietest voice I could manage, I told the emergency operator that I was in Target – hiding with my daughter and another girl in the Men’s section. “Can you see the gunman?” Wow. He knew the situation and was asking about a gunman. God, I’d rather be watching this on TV! “No.” “The police are on site and will be entering the store shortly. Stay where you are and wait for the police to find you.” “OK” “Do you want me to wait on the phone with you.” No, I have never wanted to be quite so desperately in my life. “No.” I hung up and tried to process the situation. There was a gunman. The police were outside.
And the little voice was back. Logan was scared. She needed me to make things better. She wanted to know what was happening. I told her what she wanted to hear. “It’s going to be fine. We’re just going to wait here for the police. They’ll be here soon. Just stay still and be as quiet as you can.” I looked at Jenn, our new terrified friend. She was shaking and crying. I reached over and held her shaking hand for a moment – but I needed to turn around a focus on what might be happening in the store.
11:27 AM – Call from Susan. “Tony, where are you?” It wasn’t the question – it was the panic and fear in her voice. “I’m trapped in the store with Logan and another girl.” Susan had managed to get Laney out the back door and they were heading around the back of the Target store. A huge amount of relief… but it was fighting with some serious other emotions. I didn’t know what to say – I didn’t want to make any more noise… quiet was good. “I love you.” Hung up the phone and tried to think.
How do you look everywhere at once? I could hear voices. Yelling from a young man… from a scared woman… from another older man… Where people being found out by gunmen? Was there one gunman? 5? Sporadic voices, but none seemed to be moving towards us. They didn’t seem to be moving at all. Once in a while, Logan or Jenn would rattle the hangers… and I’d jerk my head around to see if someone was coming up from behind me. Kept reminding myself to look back that way as much as in any other direction.
I had to laugh at myself. I realized I was holding my really small pocketknife, and it was open. Sharp blade, but barely 2 inches long. Maybe the gunmen wouldn’t shoot me from laughing so hard. What was I thinking I could do with the knife? What was I thinking I could do no matter what happened? Wallet, pocket knife and iPhone. Crap.
11:35pm – Text to Susan. “Still ok”
Waiting was really odd. Fear and boredom… something like that. My shins were cramping up from squatting for so long, but I didn’t even consider standing up and sitting down. Both felt far too exposed. I altered between holding Logan’s hand, holding Jenn’s hand, looking in every direction… And “We’re going to be alright. The police will be here soon. Just wait – be very still and quiet.”
11:38pm. Text from Susan “They’re coming in.”
Wow. I can’t imagine a single event in my life where I’d want to hear that. I knew immediately when they arrived. “Coming in!” A voice that no one would mistake as anything other than authority. They yelled. A guy yelled. Another gun shot. CRAP! I really hate that sound – especially now that I know what it is. My panic is back up to where it was 10 minutes ago. Some more yelling… but now I’m hearing yelling from cops clearing the store bit by bit. Once in a while “3 coming out! 3 coming out!” But no one came near where we were.
Now that I had a little time to get use to the situation (maybe?) I’ve started really wondering if I made a good or bad decision in choosing to hide rather than run with the pack of shoppers. I don’t really know. I made the assumption that the shots were being fired at the people fleeing the store. I had no real reason to think this, it’s just what I thought and I reacted on that. As well, I don’t think I wanted to try running with the crowd while trying to keep track of Logan. Hiding seemed to be the best/quickest option. But now everyone seems to be safe outside and I am in the store, with gunmen and my daughter. That’s a bad thought – a very bad feeling. My job as a dad is to keep my children safe. This… this is anything but safe.
“Hi, my name is Tony.” “Hi, I’m Jenn.” I just got around to introducing myself to our friend in hiding. She’s in ninth grade… and she’s started to relax, at least a little. Logan and Jenn have been holding hands… I wonder what they’ve said to each other.
11:54 AM – Text message from Susan
T “Just waiting on police to get to us”
S “OK. Laney with Kara, I’m with Margie. How’s Logan?”
T “Scared but OK… There’s an older girl with us. She’s pretty freaked out.”
S “Some are out.” (People are getting rescued…)
T “How are you? I’m good. Hanging out here – no more gun shots in a while”
S “A wreck”
T “Never thought I’d say that. How’s Laney? Some guy is talking… maybe a negotiator… Hard to tell from this far away.”
S “She went to Kara’s. Thought it would help her”
T “OK. What’s going on out there?”
It’s hard to keep up panic. It’s a really exhausting emotion. Besides things have been fairly quiet recently. I’ve gone between trying to track every noise in the store and trying to talk quietly with Logan and Jenn… they’re both getting more relaxed, and I want to make sure it stays that way. My legs are really cramping up… my flip flops are off. At first I thought I could run or react faster with out them on. Now, whatever I can do to keep my feet and legs from cramping up. Time has really started creeping by. I’m still nervous, but starting to feel like it might not be as bad as I thought.
12:15 PM Call from Susan. “It’s domestic violence.” Wow… what an immediate change in reality. Evidently, a man came into the store and shot his girlfriend, or something like that, and then shot himself. Now I know that there’s no mad gunman roaming the store. No real risk…but the cops told Susan to tell me to wait where we were. We’re still waiting. I can now hear the news helicopters flying overhead.
12:17 PM Text to Susan
T “Damn. This is taking a long time. Logan is getting antsy. Me too. Love you.”
Sent Susan a picture of Logan and Jenn hiding behind the shorts. We’ve all started to relax a bit…the girls are joking a little.
12:18 PM Text from Susan
S “What is girl name with u”
T “Jenn K. (?)”
S “Post FB”
T “What?”
Susan just called. Jenn’s mom was frantically looking for her – and Susan overheard the name Jenn. She knew I had an unknown girl with me. Jenn’s cell had no coverage, so her mom called Jenn on my phone at 12:22 PM. Now, I think everyone is realizing this is going to turn out OK. I took a moment to post on Facebook. Yea, I’m addicted.
Now it all kind of feels like an over reaction. One guy with a gun came in and shot his girlfriend. Then he shot himself. Kind of freaky knowing I heard a guy’s last words, and then the shot that he killed himself with. But that’s not my daughter – and she’s now safe. It had absolutely nothing to do with us.
I’m suddenly exhausted. I’ve spent the last 30 minutes or so trying desperately to hide my child (and Jenn) from unknown gunmen. It’s the absolute worst feeling – by far the worst 30 minutes of my life. Emotionally, I just had my ass kicked. But I can deal with that, I think. Pretty soon the police will take us outside, I’ll see Susan, and then we’ll go home and collapse.
12:35 PM Call from Susan: “Where are you?!?” “I’m still in the store. In the Men’s dept.” “The police said they had emptied the store.” Mmmmm….No.
12:37 PM Text message from Susan
S “Where r u?”
T “Hiding in Men’s Shorts… again” (Bad attempt at humor.)
S “They’re coming in again.”
T “Copy that. 10-4. Roger”
We waited for over 10 minutes for the police to get to us. The three of us were really getting tired of waiting. Logan was bored. I gave her my iPhone to play with, which helped, but she really wanted to see her mom. Logan asked “Where are they?” “They’ll be here soon.” “Good thing there’s no doughnut or coffee store in here, or they’d get too distracted to ever find us.” She came up with that on her own. Funny kid.
If you’ve never been escorted out of a store with heavily armed police in bulletproof vests, it’s an experience. Four policemen finally got to us. The lead guy told me to put my hands on my head. I made a lame attempt, and must have looked like I felt, cause he quickly said…“You’re fine, don’t’ worry about it.” So – I walked with my hand on Logan’s back… Jenn was beside us. One policeman with a pistol walked ahead, pointing his gun ahead of us. A policeman with a shotgun aimed outward walked on either side of us. Another policeman with a M-16 style gun (I think) walked behind us. And that’s how we went outside and over to Lowe’s where Susan was waiting for us.
Susan cried and hugged Logan. We hugged. And that was pretty much it.
What can I make out of all this? I’m not sure. Trying to hide your child from an unknown gunman is bad in a way you never want to experience. My inner kid was crying and freaking out the entire time, but I didn’t pee my pants or outwardly freak out. I feel OK about that. I’m still very unsure about my choice to stay and hide rather than run towards an exit. In the end, that really didn’t matter. I wasn’t really an innocent by-stander; script>I never was close enough to anything to even matter. There was never any real danger to my family. I spent the first 30 minutes between abject fear and “is this really happening?!?” In the end, it wasn’t really happening. A guy shot a girl and then shot himself. It never went further than that. The rest of our time in the store was simply waiting while people in charge to do things by the book.
My friend just had his most frightful parenting experience ever, one I hope to never be in. Take a look @ his own words http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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My take: Best parenting moment. Not worst. He kept it together and no one got hurt and he helped someone in the process. Look at the up side: someone else’s daughter didn’t come home that night.
I agree with Ryan. Best parenting moment in the worst situation. I hope my protective instincts would kick in and I would be able to do hold it together to protect my children. However, there is no “up side” when anyone’s daughter doesn’t come home at night due to gun/domestic violence.
Helluva a post, Ilina. Glad Todd & Logan are physically unhurt. I keep trying to teach the kids what I call “situational awareness” – to pay attention to your surroundings and be able to react when something scary or surprising happens. It’s a life skill that Todd has, and everyone needs to strive for.
@producingk @wral Here’s a personal perspective on the Target shooting in Apex: http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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@IlinaP That gave me goosebumps.Incredible. Def makes you want to hold your kids tighter. Target shooting in Apex: http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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WOW RT @IlinaP: @producingk @wral Here’s a personal perspective on the Target shooting in Apex: http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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amazing story RT @IlinaP: @producingk @wral Here’s a personal perspective on the Target shooting in Apex: http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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Wow… RT @IlinaP: @producingk @wral Here’s a personal perspective on the Target shooting in Apex: http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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We pulled up to Target to just as shoppers were running out initially. It was really hard to see people in that sort of panic as Tony describes. Thank you for sharing his story, he provided safety and protection to his child and a stranger. That’s saying something.
Wow! RT @IlinaP: @producingk @wral Here’s a personal perspective on the Target shooting in Apex: http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
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The cashier that was shot and killed, Guadalupe F. Rosa, was the Target cashier that had checked my husband and I out the night before. She was so sweet, polite, friendly in her demeanor and I thanked her and started to walk out but thanked once again before we left. We had to wait to get checked out that night because the women ahead of us had forgotten her credit card to use to pay for a vacuum cleaner she was purchasing (she was searching her billfold for her credit card). Guadalupe rang up her transaction but then very politely called over the on duty Cashier’s Manager and they decided they would put a hold on her purchase until she came back to pay for them. The Manager took her items to the credit desk to hold for her. All the while Guadalupe was very pleasant during this frustrating purchase for the older woman wanting to buy the vacuum cleaner. The older women was also trying to utilize a Target on-line discount offer coupon. It was explained to her by the Manager that those internet discounts are only available for internet purchases and not from store purchases. All went well with our little transaction with Guadalupe at the Apex SuperTarget the night before the murder. In fact, the women wanting to purchase the vacuum cleaner found her credit card and came back again while we made our final purchase. Both of our purchases made that day at Target seemed pretty inconsequential. The next day I had realized after church that I had forgotten to buy something so back to Target we went. That’s when we saw the two helicopters overhead and thought that maybe there had been an accident on Hwy. 64. When we got to the Hwy. 55 overpass of Hwy. 64 we could see that there was no auto accident. As we got closer to the Beaver Creek Commons Shopping Center we saw where the parking lot was mostly empty, several police cars and a fire truck were there. A police car was blocking the shopping center entrance off of Hwy. 55. We went home and caught the local news and we’re very surprised to learn what had happened. There had been two people shot (a murder/suicide). It occurred to me that I hope it was not the sweet cashier that had checked us out the night before. I could still see her pretty face. I’m afraid it was indeed her. I could tell by the lovely obituary picture posted today of a young bride many years ago that it was our 58 year old cashier, Guadalupe. She had still looked lovely now with a shorter hair-do, glasses, wonderful smile, sparkling eyes and friendly voice. What I feared was true I recognized it was her. My sincere condolences to Guadalupe’s family and friends. No one should have to die at the hands of a very confused soul. God bless her and may she rest in peace through all eternity!
@P. Hays, Thanks for sharing your tidbit of your experience with Guadalupe. It’s nice to hear about something so simple that makes us all see her as a person, not just a news story.
A case where a story hits a blog B4 it hits the news. @ABC11 carried the story 2day after reading my post. Pretty cool. http://bit.ly/cR1hX5
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Case where a story hits a blog B4 it hits the news. @ABC11_WTVD carried story 2day after reading my post. Pretty cool. http://bit.ly/cR1hX5
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@IlinaP Random acts of violence w/ no warning aren’t supposed to be something that happens at my @Target http://bit.ly/cR1hX5, not anywhere
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Wow. What a truly incredible story. So very, very glad your friend and his daughter are okay…
Man. I don’t even know what to say. Something like that just defies description.
Man. What an incredible story from @ilinap — about a friend of hers suddenly hearing gunshots ring out at Target: http://bit.ly/cR1hX5
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Hi Mr. Cope,
This is the 911 operator you spoke with when you called. I’m really glad you and your family made it out safely and were reunited without incident. Its really great to get some closure on incidents such as this. Although at the end of the day we all knew that it was just the man and woman at the front of the store who lost their lives that day, when we hung up with each other I didn’t know whether I was going to be the last adult you talked to, but in spite of the worrisome thoughts on all of our minds all that can be done is to move on to the next call and get them help as quickly as possible too). Thankfully when it was all said and done you were still hiding in the shorts (apparently armed to the teeth with your pocket knife and iphone… apparently there isnt an app for everything) protecting the two girls as best as you knew how and waiting to be rescued by Apex PD. Thank you for staying calm and providing useful information while we were on the phone together.
Sincerely
David Boyd
Raleigh-Wake 911 Telecommunicator
Check out the comment from the 911 operator on this post abt the shooting at Target. Closure. http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
This story was amazing on it’s own, and then to come back and see a story about the victim, and then from the 911 operator, is truly, truly amazing. This tiny, connected world we have now. We have to take such good care of each other, such good care.
Amazing. All of it. And I technically, there is an app for that…the cathartic outlet that is facebook status updates.
As all my friends know, I love my family and believe me – I am very glad that Tony and the girls are OK. For about an hour – I was a wreck – unsure of what was happening – but through it all, Tony was calm and reassuring. That is just the kind of guy he is!
We still have some things to work through…nightmares and daydreams – but in the end, we are safe and much more appreciative of one another (I don’t think i have received so many hugs and “I Love You’s” from the girls in a long time!)
I love you Tony – thank you for writing our story – it has helped me also deal with the situation.
PS – i think you are better on the other end of the camera!!! Good thing you didn’t go into TV broadcasting…..you are a much better videographer/producer!
Wow. I really got a great wife!
And wow!!!! I never expected such reaction to the story… thanks for sharing your responses. Sunday was pretty dark. Today is much brighter.
David – thanks for answering the 911 call. Your calm voice was very reassuring in a dark time for me. I wish you could have dinner or beer with every person you help. You deserve to know us all – and unfortunately, by the time we can think straight enough to say thanks, we don’t know how to call you back. Best wishes.
Here’s hoping for a really boring Summer!
Wow, gripping story RT @IlinaP: Case where story hits blog B4 news. @ABC11_WTVD carried story 2day after reading post. http://bit.ly/cR1hX5
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@banteringblonde Get your feet on the ground girl…its gonna be okay!!! Reality check ~ this is my @Target http://bit.ly/cR1hX5
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This was such an overwhelming thing to read.
I’m so, so glad Tony, Jenn and Logan had a life-altering experience rather than a life-ending one. Should my daughter ever find herself in such unusual circumstances, I hope there is a Tony Cope nearby to comfort her.
My condolences to Guadalupe’s family. Domestic violence needs more voices and less victims. http://www.violenceunsilenced.com
Wow! RT @IlinaP: Check out the comment from the 911 operator on this post abt the shooting at Target. Closure. http://bit.ly/9UtSQI
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
Wow- what a story. Tim should be proud of himself! It’s hard to know at the time what’s really happening. When I was a kid, I heard one of my sisters scream and my first reaction was to hide under the bed (thought there was a burglar). Turns out my other sister wasn’t breathing (equally scary) and my dad ran in to do CPR. She’s just fine by the way. It seemed silly looking back to hide under the bed but in that split second, how could I have known?!
Mr. Cope and Logan-
You guys were incredible. I’m so fortunate to have found such great people to hide with! Thanks for all that you did for me that day- I can honestly say that was the most terrifying experience I hope I’ll ever have to go through.
I hope one day we’ll run into each other in Target again- though this time with much happier experiences 🙂
Ps. To fill in a blank about what Logan and I were talking about- Logan realized that what was happening was a pretty big deal and I think she understood how scared we were, so once we thought it was okay to talk we started whispering about her dog, grandma’s birthday, our siblings, and little random things to ease my nerves and her hungry stomach! Then we heard a scream and that’s when she asked to hold my hand while we continued quietly talking.
Hope you guys are doing well and recovering quickly- tell Logan I said hello!
Jen… Hi! It’s really good to hear from you! Hey, did your mom talk with ABC?
It was so good to have an extra person with us – and so good to know Logan was not alone where she was hiding. I tried to keep her clam, but I also felt I needed to keep an eye on what was happening in the store. I know it helped her tremendously to have a friend.
I’ll tell her you said hi tomorrow when she gets up.
Best wishes!
I’m glad you are all okay – Sunday was indeed terrifying.
I was working in the pharmacy at target last Sunday – 5 of us ended up locked behind the closed shutter hoping and praying the shots weren’t fired by someone who might try to get to the drugs locked up with us. Like you, we spent the time hearing muffled shouting, screams, and then the police moving around with no idea what was going on – not an experience I’d wish on anyone else. We were able to talk to the police from a cell phone & alert them to our presence so the SWAT team retrieved us after some 35 minutes or so.
Best wishes to your family (and Jen)
I read this when it was originally posted and commented on Ilina’s Facebook page about how much an incredible & gripping story it is. Now as I read the comments, I can’t hold back the tears of…relief…joy…I don’t know. I don’t know you, Tony, Logan, or Jen but I’m so very glad you are all safe. God BLESSED you that day. May he continue to bless you always.
Ilina, thanks again for sharing this story. It’s better than any news piece ever could be but I’m so glad that ABC 11 took up the human story behind the “if it bleeds, it leads” headline. 🙂
Wow, thank you for sharing this in such an eloquent way. I’m amazed at how calm you managed to stay.
Reading your account, a profile of the victim and a comment from the 911 operator makes you realize how small the world really is, and how connected we are in our community.
Amazing blog post and comments – 911 operator, Tony Cope, Jen who hid w/ them and Target patrons http://bit.ly/cR1hX5
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Really scary and I came close to this once- made me nervous all over again. Glad it turned out okay.
Thanks for this post, I couldn’t believe it when I saw it on the news. I am in that target every other night it seems for something. Tragic story indeed. Dad you did the best you knew what to do under the pressure of panic; And you kept another child safe as if she was your own. Kudos to you.
A well-told narrative, considering the multitude of things going on at the time! And…I’m glad that my friends (you know who you are) made it out ok!