Writing in Your Unique Voice

Hamlet. Act I.

Polonius tells his son Laertes, “To thine own self be true.”

Truer words were never spoken, whether on a Shakespearean stage or otherwise. Nevermind that Polonius wasn’t a pillar of virtue himself. While he blows a lot of hot air inflated with platitudes, his words still carry nuggets of wisdom. In writing, as in life, it’s important to live by your convictions and it’s important to be genuine. There are more than enough hypocrites in the world. And no one likes a phony (the world according to Holden Caulfield).

As writers, we expose ourselves. We share our insecurities, triumphs, opinions, perspectives, and insights. We want people to like us and our work. We want to be read. And because of this desire to be liked, we play it safe. As bloggers, we want to be desirable to brands. We want to participate in the next big press trip and party. We risk writing to please our audience rather than enlighten it. It’s easy to err on the side of pleasing everyone in an effort to be liked. Taking a stand is difficult, risky even. It’s easy to stick to non-controversial topics, but let me tell you, online everything is open territory. I got trolls on a post I wrote about grilled cheese sandwiches for crying out loud.

For the last three years I’ve been writing a weekly feature called 5:00 Fridays. I write an original cocktail recipe and share the story that inspired it. It started as a fun schtick and has blossomed into a popular post. I have had two multi-national brands approach me about working together. For pay. We courted for a long time. I was at least lavaliered, if not engaged. We had passed contracts back and forth and negotiated numbers. At the end of a long courtship, someone in the chain of command decided that they didn’t want to work someone who writes about cocktails representing their brand. This happened twice. Both companies wanted to work with me under the condition I killed 5:00 Fridays. I declined. While it was tough, awfully tough, to turn down a monthly retainer, I couldn’t continue in good conscience knowing I gave up a piece of my blog that is uniquely me. Besides, I happen to disagree that I am tagged as some sort of untoward drunkard just because I post a cocktail recipe. But look, I work as a brand strategist and can appreciate that the brands wanted to protect their brand personality, so it simply wasn’t a good fit for either of us. No worries. No hard feelings. The people I worked with were downright shocked at my decision, but I have no regrets. I’m proud that I remained true to myself.

It’s a minefield out there, people.

However, that minefield doesn’t stop me from writing about issues that are important to me. My blog is my voice. Sometimes I vent, sometimes I bitch, sometimes I make a call to action. And yes, sometimes I like to make people laugh or smile or chuckle, even if it’s at my expense. I’ve taken on politics, drunk driving, the school board and faced a load of hate mail for a post I wrote about how the local press handled a story about a man convicted of engaging in viewing child pornography. The press made this man look more like saint than sinner, which makes me shudder even now. My livelihood was threatened because of that post. I got countless emails from people (mostly anonymously) telling me I’d never work in this town again (I’m a marketing consultant and consumer researcher.). I was told my career was dead because the man convicted happened to have clout in my field. My husband, worried about me and my business’ future, asked me to pull the post. I didn’t. I stand by my words.

As a general practice, I never write what I wouldn’t say in person. I might be just five feet tall but I’m not short on opinions.

I use my voice to stand up for the disenfranchised, encourage people to vote, garner donations to the food bank, or draw attention to the capital campaign for the Ronald McDonald House. I write about food and cocktails and my family. I write about my sons’ latest antics and my own angst as a mother. I tug at my shortcomings and reveal the ragged fibers that hold me together. What I have found is this: the people who read my writing and respond encouragingly to my words are not always those who agree with me. Oddly enough, it seems I’ve opened up dialogue and bridged divergent views more than I’ve wedged a deeper divide. It’s been a pleasant surprise. As for the local school board issues, it’s been really rewarding to get emails from people telling me that my perspectives have helped them change their mind. This is great news, considering we have an election October 11.

Mind you, I don’t write with the purpose of changing minds, but it sure is a nice byproduct. I also don’t write just to stir up controversy. I write about what moves me. I write because it’s cathartic. I write to express myself. I’m no journalist. I’m no professional. But I do write with heart. This is indisputable.

If you, like me, fancy yourself a writer, I say take a stand. Share your opinions. Share your weaknesses, your heartaches, your joys. Leave wishy wishy words at the bottom of the pond and let your true self float to the top. Define your voice and give it a stage.

To thine own self, be true.

If you want to read more about using your voice check out a post I wrote over on Mom Comm.

This post is part of the BlogHop Blog Conference at Home. To see the full agenda of learning sessions visit Blog Conference Newbie. http://blogconferencenewbie.com/blog-education/expert-advice/bloghop-blog-conference-at-home