I have often claimed the worst thing about parenting is other parents. I always thought the worst of it dealt with oneupman(mom)ship and competition. I learned the other day that sometimes it’s simply being around other parents that makes parenting unbearable at times.
Allow me to set the scene.
I was in Deal’s first grade classroom. For a moment I happened to be the only parent in the room during Meet the Teacher night. The hallway was stirring with the clickety clack of heels while parents were making their way to various classrooms. Deal had a bit of a rough start to his school year so I took advantage of my alone time to have a little chat with his teacher. She was happy to listen, and I was grateful to thank her in person for her support. She’s a seasoned teacher but new to us so I was, and am, still feeling my way with her. I wanted to make a good impression and convey that I’m a loving, concerned mom, not a helicopter nuisance.
I never imagined I’d walk away from that conversation with the teacher thinking me a sleeze.
You see, a fellow dad barged into the room, someone I barely know. He was aglow in good cheer and guffawed, “Hey, you left your underwear in my bed last night, and I’m going to sleep with them under my pillow!“
G.A.S.P.
I was too mortified to laugh it off or shrug it off. I was too shaken to come up with a witty response. I didn’t know the appropriate thing to say or do. I still don’t. This man was clearly missing his decorum and respect genes. I cleared my throat, looked the teacher in the eye, thanked her, and turned on my heel and brushed past this man in a hurry. There was nothing graceful about my exit. I wanted to cry.
What has another parent said to you to render you speechless?
Gah! WTF! And every other cliched online saying! Why? With what purpose? Was he just trying to be funny? What an ass!
What on earth made him say that? Did he explain? I am sure the teacher realizes that he is uncooth and clueless. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
I am horrified for you. What an unpleasant, unnecessary and crude thing to happen to anyone, let alone in a school. In the old days a slap in the face would be appropriate and I’m not sure that would not be the correct action but you took the high road and gave him “the cut direct”. Sadly he is too much of a boor to even realize it.
Uhhh….what does one say to that? I probably would’ve ignored him and walked out. What the heck?
I assure you that *you* were not the one to look like a sleaze.
I’m sure the teacher has common sense (nobody would ever say this out loud this way) and all of her senses (your reaction, your posture, etc.) came together to give her the instinct that it was not true and the guy was an ass.
I know we tend to shy away from confrontation — citing “pick your battles” — but there are times a comment (not a confrontation) needs to be made.
IMHO since you never asked lol, I would at some point soon (call, email or pull aside) that man and say, “I really think you’re a funny person and appreciate your humor, but the comment you made to me in the class in front of the teacher about sleeping with my underwear was not funny and left me and the teacher in a really awkward place, right in the middle of a serious discussion about my child.” Then tell him what you expect now (an apology) and in the future (more humor but not something like that). Or whatever.
I know I am way out of line here and you being you probably handled it already. It’s also not what you asked.
But I had to say it. Just as a general point.
I’ve noticed too often more and more we just let stuff like this go, afraid to be caught not seeing the emperor’s clothes or bullied for not having “a sense of humor.” And it’s really a terrible thing, this behavior.
It’s entirely possible to let something like this roll off one’s back and not upset one while also telling the person “boundary crossing not cool.” The two aren’t mutually exclusive, even though 99 out of 100 people tell me they are! LOL
So the real answer that you DID ask for. I can’t be more than vague for good reason. But a parent did not say sorry or have their child say sorry after doing something to my child so unbelievable and dangerous and bad that most people urged me to call the police *even though* my kid was okay. That still has me speechless.
If you could see my face right now, my mouth is wide open. I’ve never heard of such in my life. That is absolutely crazy.
whoa, that’s a lot of crazy! i’m not big on confrontations either, but I am a professional eye roller so i would have handled it that way… hoping the teacher thought he was as crazy as i did.
The sad thing is this guy’s wife was right there too. Mac Daddy was out of town so he wasn’t there, but based on things this man has said to me before, the presence of my husband wouldn’t have stopped him. He’s been a jerk before, but this takes the cake. I find it infuriating that some men think it’s OK to treat women like this. This is more than just being funny or trying to be silly. It’s harassment and degrading to his wife, me, and the teachers who had to listen to him.
Julie, you are right on. He crossed a line, and nothing about what he said was funny. And wow, so sorry your daughter had to endure that from another kid!
I think that’s about the time my Italian temper would’ve reared it’s ugly head, and I would’ve demanded a principal or someone deal with that asshat of a nuisance. We’re talking a FIRST!GRADE!CLASSROOM! Who the hell is HE to talk of such things AT SCHOOL! Where kids are likely to overhear! What on EARTH!?
“You have me confused with your blow up doll.” What an a-hole. I would meet with the teacher and principal. They probably are aware of this dude’s douchebag factor but I would want to make it clear that I expect the school to tell him to time it down in the building. We have had to do that to some parents at our school.
Speechless. What was he thinking?
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, and seen the lowest of low in people…..something like this happens. So, so sorry.
OMG. Am totally speechless for you. Julie is right — that teacher no doubt was mortified for you.
Can’t comment, I’m busy scraping my chin off the floor. W.T.F.
This kind of frat-boy behavior is really absurd. He isn’t worth a second thought, but unfortunately this has become your problem when you have been the target of it. I agree with the above commenter about taking this to the principal. This kind of boorish behavior isn’t tolerated in schools, whether it is kids or their parents – period. I would the teacher would also have an interest in seeing this guy stopped in his tracks.