My friend Matt penned this post that I wanted to share here. You’ll read his words and see that he’s a man bursting with integrity and compassion. Matt is my people. Read on and you’ll see why.
I am a dad. And, like most dads, I want to protect my children. I want to keep them safe from people who would like to hurt them. That’s why fatherhood has made me a much stronger advocate for LGBT rights, and why North Carolina’s HB 2 breaks my heart.
I spend time with my children every day. I see them playing at the park and running around with their friends. Odds are good that some of these kids I see on the playground will grow up to become gay or transgender teens and adults. The way I see it, some of those kids are already gay or trans, but we can’t tell because that aspect of their identity hasn’t manifested itself yet. That part of who they are often comes to light during the rollercoaster ride that is puberty.
My paternal, protective instinct makes me reject anything indicating that someone who is gay or trans is somehow less important or deserves fewer rights than someone who is straight or cis (“cis,” or cisgender, refers to someone whose sexual identity lines up with the sex they were assigned at birth).
Some folks have said that HB 2, the Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act, is a “common sense” law designed to keep men from dressing up as women in order to invade bathrooms. But that’s just not so.
For one thing, there’s never been a case in the U.S. of a man masquerading as a trans woman in order to engage in illegal activities in the women’s restroom. More to the point, such a man wouldn’t be transgender anyway. In other words, the law was designed to address a problem that doesn’t exist, and highlights how little the lawmakers know about the very people they’re legislating against. That doesn’t seem like common sense to me.
Others have written extensively about other impacts of the law regarding how it limits the power of local government, makes it impossible to file suit in state court under state anti-discrimination laws, and has drawn the ire of the business community.
My point is simpler. None of us knows who our kids will grow up to be. But all of us should want our sons and daughters to be treated with respect, now and when they are adults. That reason alone should be enough to reject the idea of HB 2. We don’t need to introduce artificial hurdles that contribute, intentionally or not, to hateful behavior.
All of this uncertainty can leave one feeling powerless. What can I do? If you’re a parent, there is a great deal you can do.
Make sure your children know that you will love them, no matter what. Teach them, by example, how to treat people with compassion and respect regardless of their sexual identity or orientation. And, for those who can’t remember, going through puberty was excruciating. I can’t imagine what it is like to go through that while also fearing rejection from peers or one’s own family because of who you are or who you are sexually attracted to. The least we can do for our children is let them know that they will always have our love and support. Home should always feel safe.
So that’s what I’ll be working on. Loving my kids. Showing them what it means to treat people with respect. Raising them, I hope, to be strong and honest and kind.
I hope that North Carolina doesn’t disappoint them.
Matt Shipman is a husband and father. He lives in North Carolina.
Great post!