My dad saved everything. If you know him, this might come as a surprise. He’s both sentimental and stoic. Many years ago he gave me a three-ring binder brimming with letters I wrote home from boarding school and my gap year abroad. There are even pre-cell phone notes I scribbled saying, “Dad, I went to Cathy’s. Be home at 6:00.” I’m still friends with Cathy, by the way. And I can assure you, we were likely up to no good back then. This binder also contains every postcard and card I ever mailed to my dad. It’s a treasure trove of horrifying teenage girl angst and giddiness. There are report cards with comments like, ” Ilina seems to have a serious problem with subjects involving math skills” and “Ilina has a gift for sharing her happiness, which made our class time together especially pleasant.” That’s code for “Ilina talks too much,” another constant in my 13 years of school.
Bird asked me about my high school grades so I pulled out the binder to show him my old report cards. The boys laughed at my flowery writing (what some teachers referred to as my “flair”) and the self-deprecating teenage doom I expressed in my letters (noting that the return address on my letters home from boarding school said “Penitentiary). Suffice it to say, I got in a lot of trouble. I’m a life lesson that tumultuous teenage years do not define you for life. I should give a TED talk about this. I mean, I was rotten. Seriously. Rotten.
There was one thing that struck me as I looked through the binder tonight with my sons.
A prayer.
I wrote this prayer my senior year of high school, 1986. I remember reading it aloud in chapel one Friday afternoon. It holds meaning still today, 32 years later.
“Dear Lord, Help us discover our gifts and develop them. Replace our excuses with a willing spirit. Give us the creative imagination to build monuments of peace to remind us of its virtue. Guide us in using the good of our technology to further the cause of justice. Show us how rich we are and teach us the grace of graceful giving. Help us dream great dreams, expect great results, and so dare great things. Amen.”