I often have trouble sleeping. I could just get up and do something productive but instead I lie awake and fret, write blog posts and book chapters in my head (that I’ve forgotten by the time I wake), or ponder. Since I realize I’m not exactly lucid, I don’t use the time during those wee hours to solve the world’s problems or even my own. I pet the dog and think about inane things.
What do I think about, you ask? You are asking, right?
Why is Peggy a nickname for Margaret?
Why is Jack a nickname for John?
Why does John need a nickname?
Why is Jones a verb?
Who are the Joneses we’re supposed to be keeping up with?
Who did let the dogs out?
How many people got fired at Pontiac for giving the Aztec the green light?
Why does the gene pool always give boys longer eye lashes than girls?
What’s the point of cheerleaders?
Why don’t women do a double check for VPL (visible panty lines)?
Is my cell phone really going to make me grow horns?
Why did Robin agree to be nothing but a sidekick all those years?
Why does Martha Stewart bother to make her own marshmallows? Doesn’t she know they’re like 99 cents a bag?
Do blonds really have more fun?
Why do all men get it when they refer to “the game?” What game exactly?
Why is Kathie Lee Gifford still gainfully employed?
Is recording a Christmas album a mark of success or demise?
Why can’t we simultaneously support our troops yet oppose the wars?
Why do women make more money in the bedroom than in the boardroom?
What’s the point of short sleeve winter coats and peep toe boots?
Isn’t there a market for plumber pants that actually stay up?
Someone really paid to make a movie called Sunday School Musical?
So there you have it. This is but a taste of what races through my head at night. Mac Daddy and our friend Crouton Boy will tell you that they have firsthand experience listening to some of my nonsense philosophical questions. That’s why they both hate long road trips with me. So tell me, what’s on your mind when you’re sleepless in Seattle, Sarasota, and spots in between?
I love the “Why do women make more money in the bedroom than in the boardroom?” I would like to know, “Why do so many people name their dog Max?”
The Peggy for Margaret thing has always baffled me. They long eyelashes on boys thing just annoys the crap out of me. You should see my son’s lashes–I’d have to use 4 tubes of mascara to even come close!
The monkey mind, I know it too. Time for you to keep a notepad by your bed so you can scribble notes that you may or may not be able to read the next morning.
Yes, I do have a notepad. Thing is, I can never make sense of what I jotted down in the dark at 4:00 AM!
Isn’t the Grinch’s dog named Max? Maybe that’s why so many people call their dog that.