If My Friends Could See Me Now – 5:00 Fridays

I sorta had an outer body experience last night. I wasn’t dead on a cold stainless steel table in the ER or anything. I hadn’t had any anesthesia. I wasn’t even drunk. Yet I found myself hovering above my physical body in a half tut-tutting grin and half eye rolling head shake. I was absorbed in notes and bylaws and spreadsheets, settled somewhere in the purgatory between being captivated and simply daydreaming.

I was at a PTA meeting.

I’m going to be the new Vice President of Communications. VP, baby. Since I wasn’t born in the States I can never run for POTUS so I’ll take this as a consolation prize. I even have an official lanyard that is almost as cool as the press pass I got to cover Obama when he visited Raleigh early in his campaign. OK, maybe not that cool. But I am feeling kinda like a big deal and just might puff my chest out a little bit. Nevermind that no one else wanted the job and I clearly have “Sucka” plastered on my forehead. We’re not telling the behind the scenes true story here. Hmmm…this is starting to sound like more of a booby prize.

I do love volunteering at Bird and Deal’s school and relish the special peek I get into their lives. It won’t be long before they shun me from their classrooms, and joining them for lunch in the school cafeteria will mean a one way ticket to Pariahville. I’m so grateful to be able to contribute to my sons’ school and actively participate in their lives in this way. It’s lovely to get hugs from the other kids and hear whispers of “There’s Bird’s mom!” and gleeful greetings of “Hi, Mrs. Ewen!” It’s almost like being a rock star. I see a movie deal in my future…perhaps Harper Valley PTA meets Almost Famous.

Anyway, during my outer body experience I chuckled looking at my 42 year old self. When I look in the mirror I am always slightly taken aback by the dark circled woman with shocks of gray peering back at me. I still feel like my 25 year old self inside and wonder what the years have done to that dew skinned girl. I was equal parts party girl, corporate ladder climber, independent spirit who didn’t want to have kids, and wanderluster. If you knew me back then and were a betting person, you wouldn’t have put any money on me being in the PTA one day.

But here I am, lanyard and all. I’m a PTA mom.

If My Friends Could See Me Now

1 shot of pineapple infused Patron tequila (See instructions below.)

1 shot Cointreau

3 ounces of orange juice

splash club soda

fresh pineapple wedge

I’ve always been too intimidated (and lazy) to buy a whole pineapple and cut it up. I wasted so much money on the pre-cut stuff. It turns out that it’s super simple to cut up a whole pineapple, and even simpler to infuse those juicy hunks in some tequila. Simply get a big ole jar or bottle, add several chunks of fresh pineapple, top with tequila, seal, and let steep at room temperature for at least 24 hours. It will be even better if you let it steep for two weeks (But beware the pineapple chunks at that point! Eating them won’t be like enjoying the wine soaked fruit in sangria. Oh no, your gizzards will be on fire if you eat that pineapple after it bathed in tequila for a couple weeks!).

Fill a highball glass with ice and top with pineapple infused tequila, Cointreau, and orange juice. Add a splash of club soda, give it a stir. Stick an ever so festive pineapple wedge on the side. Kitschy paper umbrella optional.

Now pardon me while I channel Barbara Eden and shorten my hemlines.